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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22370926">Even though I haven't seen my limits But if it exists, It's probably you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mintyxxchuu/pseuds/Mintyxxchuu'>Mintyxxchuu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys In Love, First Love, M/M, Open Ending?, Slice of Life, Slightly slow burn, Winter Setting, childhood best friends, complicated fights, friends to strangers to lovers, mentions of other people - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:56:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22370926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mintyxxchuu/pseuds/Mintyxxchuu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The image of a younger Choi Yeonjun comes to his mind, handsome youthful face twisted with pain as the younger Choi Soobin leaves him in the dark.</p><p>No— the younger Choi Soobin abandons him in the dark.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Even though I haven't seen my limits But if it exists, It's probably you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My second one shot on AO3 🤗🤗🤗</p><p>Do enjoy this even though i have no idea where it went 💜</p><p> </p><p>Do let me tell what you think and should i do a bonus part?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>MONDAY</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>The air is cold, stifling too. Snow falls onto the face of the Earth, casting a magical look to the dull buildings of Seoul. Somewhere in a cafe just a block away from Seoul University, a tall handsome man wearing a yellow turtleneck and jeans sits by the display window with his head buried in his assignment.</p><p> </p><p>His caramel latte sits next to his notes, ice slowly melting due to the neglect. His eyes flicker between his laptop screen to the note in his lap, thick pale lips pulled into a small pout and eyebrows narrowed in concentration.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Soobin hyung!,” a voice calls and it is enough to snap him out of his stupor. He looks up, eyes flitting along the other customers before his eyes catch a familiar man waving his hand at him. His eyes crinkle upwards as he feels his lips stretch into his iconic bunny smile when the man and his companion approach him.</p><p> </p><p>“Beomgyu! Taehyun!,” he says cheerfully ss the lovers take the seats in front of him. Beomgyu leans forward, looking awfully like an excited puppy as his calm boyfriend sits back with amusement all over his face.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin looks at him weirdly but his fingers move along his keyboards as he hurries to finish his assignment. “Why do you look as if Santa came early?,” he asks, suddenly reminded that Christmas is in a week and he plans to go back to his hometown for the weekend.</p><p> </p><p>“Guess who just befriended Choi Yeonjun?,” Beomgyu asks proudly and Soobin’s fingers halt in their movement. He freezes at the mention of the cursed name and feels his heart skips a beat. “Me! And Taehyun, lol—,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn’t even tease Beomgyu for saying the acronym out loud which didn’t go unnoticed from Taehyun’s observation.</p><p> </p><p>“—he invited us to his pre-Christmas party this Friday and i thought since you’re leaving on Saturday, you should come too,” The second year student finishes with a smile which freezes when he takes in how Soobin has gone pale.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin’s eyes are unfocused, drilled onto his laptop screen and his lips are parted in a soft sigh. His ears heard Beomgyu but his mind is slow, too caught up by the mention of his childhood best friend. His mind flashes to the multiple times he’s seen Choi Yeonjun around the campus but considering they both have different courses, he has never interacted with the older. Not like he would. He can’t.</p><p> </p><p>The image of a younger Choi Yeonjun comes to his mind, handsome youthful face twisted with pain as the younger Choi Soobin leaves him in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>No— the younger Choi Soobin abandons him in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin hyung?,” Taehyun’s voice breaks his daze and he blinks. Soobin looks at them, seeing the obvious concern on their faces.</p><p> </p><p>“U—uh, i don’t think i can go, Gyu,” Soobin says apologetically. Beomgyu deflates but Taehyun’s eyes are sharp.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay give it up, hyung,” the youngest suddenly says. Soobin looks at him with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh— i don’t understand what you mean—,”</p><p> </p><p>“Choi Yeonjun seems like a really sensitive topic to you. In fact, i’ve never seen you in the same room as him. You shy away whenever we talk about him. You run away every time he’s so much walk in your direction. You’ve been doing that since we befriended you earlier this year. So i bet you’ve done that for years already,” The first year student says monotonously.</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu’s silent, accessing the pair with a thoughtful look on his face. Soobin is nervous, staring back at Taehyun’s sharp eyes and feeling as if he’s a lab rat in an experiment. Soobin knows that Taehyun is right. The third year student curses Taehyun’s impressive observation skill.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiles but it’s clear that it’s fake. “I don’t really like him. That’s all,” he says but he knows it’s a lie. The truth is he is afraid of Choi Yeonjun. Afraid of his past. Afraid of the truth.</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun raises an eyebrow and Soobin knows he doesn’t believe him in the slightest. Beomgyu tilts his head. “Are you sure it’s not the opposite..?,” he asks thoughfully.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin chews on his lower lip and shakes his head. “Of course not,” he lies again. How can he explain to these lovers that Choi Yeonjun is the best part of him?</p><p> </p><p>His other half that he had hurt and left?</p><p> </p><p>So he smiles and shrugs. “I mean it. I won’t go to the party,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>TUESDAY</p><p> </p><p>The library is quiet as always, packed with students buried in their projects and assignments. Soobin walks among the bookshelves, hand trailing along the books as he searches for the book he’s looking for. He has his airpods on, listening to his favourite boygroup’s song.</p><p> </p><p>I used to rain</p><p>I used to snow</p><p>I stop all the misfortune</p><p>And I bring the heavens</p><p>Don't speak of it so lightly</p><p> </p><p>Soobin finds the book and pulls it out. He freezes when he sees another person in between the gap. Their eyes meet as the song sings.</p><p> </p><p>There's no me without you</p><p>You’re the best of me</p><p>The best of me</p><p> </p><p>Soobin feels his heart races when he registers the mop of blue hair.. the sharp features.. the same pair of eyes he had looked through the years of his childhood and adolescence.</p><p> </p><p>Choi Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>The final year student’s face is void of any emotion but he didn’t make a move to leave. His hand holds an opened book, but his eyes still remain on Soobin. It seems as if the time has stopped and the world around him becomes a blur.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin is enchanted by Yeonjun. All of his efforts to avoid him since first year have gone down the drain and his heart sings with longing. When was the last time he had come face to face with the older guy?</p><p> </p><p>His daze breaks when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Soobin flinches and looks away from Yeonjun as he pulls out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>Annoying brat 🐻</p><p> </p><p>His phone screen reads and he sighs in frustration. Soobin swipes answer as he glances at Yeonjun and finds the older’s attention back to his book. He presses his phone against his ear and walks away. Soobin puts back the book.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin is unaware of Yeonjun’s eyes following him until he leaves the library in a hurry.</p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>WEDNESDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Being a psychology student, Soobin knows how difficult the course is during the first year. Befriending a first year student due to the course is not something Soobin would be surprised over.</p><p> </p><p>He’s tutoring Huening Kai who had approached him first when he heard Soobin has been in the dean’s list since his first semester. The younger is deep into his assignment while Soobin studies diligently across him in the same cafe Soobin had gone to just last Monday.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung,” Soobin hums nonchalantly when he hears HueningKai calls for him. “hyung,” he hears the younger again but ignores him to read the complicated paragraph on his notes. “hyung!,” Soobin flinches and looks up.</p><p> </p><p>HueningKai stares at him and his eyes flicker behind Soobin. “Uh—what?,” he asks, a bit annoyed of getting interrupted. HueningKai scratches his head in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Do— Are you and Yeonjun hyung friends?,” the younger asks and Soobin looks at him in bewilderment.</p><p> </p><p>“No? Are you friends with him?,” He retaliates, as he notices the term HueningKai had used for the older.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, he’s my roommate.. so,” HueningKai shrugs and Soobin is a bit confused on how a first year got a room with a final year student.</p><p>He shakes the thought away as he realises it’s not his business.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you ask anyway?,” Soobin asks, jotting down in his notebook to appear nonchalant. HueningKai stares at him and it appears that his effort had failed.</p><p> </p><p>“Because he keeps looking at you,” HueningKai says and Soobin freezes.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?,” he says dumbly. HueningKai rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Behind you. He’s sitting with his friends but he’s been looking over to us a lot,” HueningKai says. Soobin chances a look over his shoulder and immediately makes eye contact with Choi Yeonjun. He flinches and turns back to HueningKai.</p><p> </p><p>How had he not notice Yeonjun’s presence..?</p><p> </p><p>HueningKai is studying him. “Your body language is a bit odd, hyung. You said you’re not friends but why do i see a lie there?,” He asks thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin urges his body to calm down as he meets the younger’s curious yet honest eyes. Something about the other makes him confess. “Well, we were friends,” he says and HueningKai tilts his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Were?,” he echoes and Soobin shrugs, trying to appear unbothered.</p><p> </p><p>“I fucked up,” he says without context. HueningKai eyes flicker behind him, undoubtedly looking at his roommate. Soobin doesn’t have to look back to know that Yeonjun is staring holes on the back of his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t seem like you fucked up to me,” HueningKai says and Soobin furrows his eyebrows in confusion. The younger leans back. “If not, Yeonjun hyung wouldn’t look at you with the same longing i see in you every time you look at him,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>THURSDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s his fault. Soobin acknowledges this.</p><p> </p><p>He waits for his bus, mind occupied by the memory of his past and specifically on Choi Yeonjun. His mind replays the same heartbroken look on younger Yeonjun’s face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why are you so against me being with Lucas?,”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not good for you! Please listen to me, Soobinie,”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call me that! Lucas has been nothing but good for me,”</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, he’s using you—,”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Hyung! Just because you’re in love with me doesn’t mean you get to dictate what i do in my life,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cold wind bites his ass and he flinches back to reality, immediately rubbing his arm in hope to warm himself up. It is definitely his fault for wearing a barely thick jacket in the middle of winter. From his peripheral vision, he sees another person approaching the bus stop.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin freezes when he realises it is none other than Choi Yeonjun. The older barely gives him a glance as he stands a few feet apart from Soobin. Soobin looks away, trying to fix his loosening scarf around his neck. He looks up and sees snow suddenly raining down.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin feels his face breaks into a smile as he reaches out to catch the snowflake with his bare hands. Too distracted, he didn’t realise Yeonjun coming up to him until the older catches his hands and brings them closer to him.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin jumps in surprise as he is forcefully turned to look at the other. Yeonjun didn’t meet his gaze as he takes off his own gloves and wears them over Soobin’s hands. Soobin falls speechless at the sudden act.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun proceeds to take off his long coat, which leaves him with his thick hoodie and wraps it around Soobin’s shoulders. Soobin catches the coat before it could fall as he stares at the older in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun pulls away and meets his gaze. “Don’t catch a cold, you dummy,” are his first words to Soobin after years of silence from both sides. Soobin blinks and blushes.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh—thank you..,” he says awkwardly and shuffles on his feet but Yeonjun remains in front of him, not moving as he looks up to meet Soobin’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Did Beomgyu invite you to my party tomorrow?,” Yeonjun suddenly asks. Soobin furrows his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, why..?,” Soobin asks. Yeonjun shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>“I told him to. Are you going?,” the older asks, trying to be nonchalant but Soobin is a psychology student so he sees the obvious nerves the older is having just being in the presence of Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin finds it.. endearing, to say the least.</p><p>He shakes his head and notices the older deflates in disappointment he doesn’t even bother to hide.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin internally panics before he blurts. “I guess i can come to send these back?,” he says as he beckons to Yeonjun’s coat and gloves. Yeonjun looks at him and smiles.</p><p> </p><p>The same smile that takes Soobin’s breath away.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” the older says and Soobin smiles softly. Their moment breaks when Soobin’s bus arrives. The younger gives his hyung a small wave and hops onto the bus hurriedly. He didn’t miss the wave from Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>FRIDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The pre-Christmas party Yeonjun had thrown at his personal apartment isn’t what Soobin expected. He had expected wild drunken students. He had expected loud booming music. He had expected a wild night.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t expect to show up with his friends, Beomgyu and Taehyun to an actually calm and serene gathering. The alcohol is there still, but the atmosphere is nice. Apparently, Yeonjun had only invited a handful of people and mainly they are his closed friends.</p><p> </p><p>Now that Soobin thinks about it, how come Yeonjun stays at the students’ dormitory if he’s rich enough to own an apartment?</p><p> </p><p>He sheds his coat by the rack, timidly following the couple through the apartment. They are immediately greeted by Yeonjun. “Hey! Glad you could come,” he says as he greets Beomgyu with a classic bro-hug. Taehyun politely smiles at the older but Soobin is stuck staring at Yeonjun like a broken record.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun looks soft in his black turtleneck sweater and grey pants. His blue hair is styled but it looks as equally as soft as his outfit. Yeonjun meets his gaze and smiles. “Good to see you Soobinie,” he says warmly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobinie.</p><p> </p><p>The younger ignores the curious looks his friends shoot at him as he smiles awkwardly back to Yeonjun. “Uh— thank you for the invite, hyung. Here—,” Soobin says as he holds out a bag which contains Yeonjun’s coat and gloves.</p><p> </p><p>He notices Taehyun pinching Beomgyu from his peripheral vision.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun takes it and shrugs. “You’re welcome—,” he’s cut when a familiar shrill scream is heard from the kitchen. Yeonjun sighs. “—i better tend to that,” he says and hurries to the kitchen. He disappears from sight but everyone could hear him scream. “HUENING KAI DROP THAT PAN RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD—,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin almost laughs at the scene but he’s too nervous by the sudden silence that envelops the trio. “So, you don’t like Choi Yeonjun but right now, you’re being buddy buddy with him Soobinie?,” Beomgyu says, a taunting tone to his words.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin shrugs. “He’s not bad,” he says. Again, another lie. Taehyun raises an eyebrow at him and opens his mouth to speak. Soobin immediately cuts him off. “I’m going to get a drink,” he says and leaves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin’s alcohol tolerance is shit. It takes him half a bottle to get drunken as fuck. So when he’s forced to sit down in a circle to play a classic game of truth or dare like a bunch of six graders, he knows he’s fucked.</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately, there’s at least a dozen people so his turn is stalled for the first few rounds of the game. Soobin is bored actually. The game is wild enough. He’s seen some of the people here kissing and shit because of a dare but he hasn’t heard anyone choosing truth.</p><p> </p><p>“Truth,”</p><p> </p><p>He is wrong when the word slips out of Yeonjun’s mouth. Soobin blinks and looks at the older who sits across of him. He heard the others boo at him but Yeonjun just shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m leaving the dare for last, guys,” he says.</p><p> </p><p>One of the girls, Ryujin suddenly claps her hand and leans in with a smirk on her face. Soobin feels nervous for Yeonjun. “Who’s your first love?,” she asks which receives more boo-ing as the others consider it lame. Ryujin shrugs, unbothered by their reaction.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun’s eyes land on Soobin and the younger feels his breath catches in his throat. “I’m looking at him,” he answers confidentally and everyone falls silent. Soobin looks away, suddenly finding the ceiling much more interesting than his friends’ shocked nudges.</p><p> </p><p>“WHAT? When did that happen?,” Wooyoung screams. Yeonjun shrugs. Apparently, Ryujin’s question of truth isn’t so lame after all..</p><p> </p><p>“I answered the truth now continue the game,” He says. Soobin refuses to acknowledge his friends whispers. After that, it becomes a game of getting the bottle to land on either Soobin or Yeonjun. When the bottle did land on Soobin, HueningKai is quick to ask.</p><p> </p><p>“Truth or dare,” he asks. Soobin looks at everyone’s faces, reading how they got excited when HueningKai says the word truth so he chooses dare.</p><p> </p><p>“I dare you to tell us the history between you and Yeonjun hyung... in DETAILS,” HueningKai says and everyone cheers, except for Soobin and Yeonjun of course. Soobin pales, nervously looking at Yeonjun but the older stares at him blankly.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh—,” he feels as if bailing the dare by taking a shot but his alcohol tolerance sucks and he didn’t want to go back to his hometown with a massive hung over so he relents. “—me and Yeonjun hyung are childhood.. best friends?,” He says questionably.</p><p> </p><p>The reaction is priceless. Some of them turns to Yeonjun with comical looks of disbelief. Some of them screams dramatically. His friends look at him as if he killed their dog.</p><p> </p><p>“We kinda grew up with each other. Attached to the hip, our parents used to say—,” Soobin is cut when San interrupts.</p><p> </p><p>“How come i don’t see you guys interacting on campus?,” he asks which receives murmurs of agreement.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiles awkwardly. “—we uh, kinda.. broke apart on a bad note,” he says and the looks of understanding washed over everyone would be hilarious to him but he’s too nervous to even laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay enough,” Yeonjun’s voice breaks in and HueningKai whines. Yeonjun’s face is void but Soobin is fast enough to catch the pain in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I dared him to go into details,” he whines. Yeonjun gives him a stern glare.</p><p> </p><p>“No more, please,” he says and the sharp tone immediately gets to everyone in the room. Jonho is quick to turn the bottle again.</p><p> </p><p>In the end, the bottle never landed on either Soobin or Yeonjun and Yeonjun’s dare is left in the dust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin stands in the balcony, silently suffering in the cold but he rathers be outside than inside where knocked out drunken university students lay around the apartment. He didn’t realise the door sliding open until a warm blanket falls around his shoulders. He looks up and catches the blue hair first.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeonjun hyung,” he breathes as the older stands next to him in a thick coat.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing outside like an idiot trying to freeze his own ass?,” His hyung asks and Soobin laughs softly.</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking,” he says and Yeonjun guffaws.</p><p> </p><p>“At 3 in the morning.. in the freezing cold of peak Winter?,” the older says sarcastically. Soobin glances at him and shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you drunk?,” he asks. Yeonjun pulls a face.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you see me drink? I didn’t touch alcohol at all,” he says. Soobin hums and gulps nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you ever wondered what would have happened if i hadn’t fucked up that day?,” he starts. He could feel Yeonjun’s eyes on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Every day,” the older says calmly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin gulps again, ignoring the way his eyes burn. “Yeah.. me too,” he says and they both fall into silence.</p><p> </p><p>To Soobin, the distance between them had never felt as far as it is now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>SATURDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So.. a little birdie told me Choi Yeonjun’s a student at your university,” his sister says as she leans against the doorframe of his old room. Soobin is sitting on the window sill, looking out to see the snow when his sister suddenly surprise him. He whirls around, eyes widen in shock of being interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>“Noona! At least give me a warning,” he hisses and turns back to the window. “Besides, why should i say anything about Yeonjun hyung being in the same university as me?,” Soobin says defensively. He hears his noona comes closer and sits on his bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin-ah,” his sister says gently and Soobin feels obligated to look at her. Her usual teasing smile is gone, replaced by a fond yet sad expression he only sees when she’s serious. “You never told me what happened in high school.. between you and Yeonjun. He is my friend too, you know?,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighs, feeling tears slowly burning his eyes. “I— i am not ready for this,” he says. His sister grasps his hand and gently squeezes. Her eyes are searching. Searching for what? Soobin doesn’t know. Or he does, but he refuses to admit it.</p><p> </p><p>The truth.</p><p> </p><p>“Baby brother, when will you stop running from the past?,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>MONDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Being surrounded by his friends is a bit concerning. They are supposed to be studying but Taehyun, Beomgyu and HueningKai are staring at him shamelessly so Soobin’s concentration falters. He finally looks up from his work and meets their gazes. The cafe never seems this silent before.</p><p> </p><p>“What?,” he deadpans. The three of them keep staring at him. Soobin rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, you never told us you were friends with Choi Yeonjun,” Taehyun says and HueningKai is quick to interject.</p><p> </p><p>“I know that but not to that vital information of Choi Soobin being Choi Yeonjun’s first love,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin gulps and sighs, closing his book to give them his attention. His sister’s words echo in his head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“—when will you stop running from the past?,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We were closed. Like extremely closed. We grew up together, you see. From when we were babies to high school, we had each other’s back but i fucked things up,” he says calmly, the opposite of the raging fire inside of him. When he receives nothing but silence, he continues.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know he was in love with me, up until his senior year. Around that time, i started having an interest in psychology and learnt the basic body language. That’s how i knew he liked me. I— i didn’t feel the same way..,” Soobin trails, his eyes suddenly glassy. “Or maybe i do? But i didn’t realise it yet. Instead, i began dating this Lucas dude and fell in love. Lucas is— was my first love. I didn’t know he was using me for popularity, cause i am friends with the Choi Yeonjun, who was like a celebrity of our school,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighs, looking away and opts to stare at his caramel latte in defeat. “We had a fight. A big one because of Lucas. I— i said some really mean words, when all Yeonjun hyung did was trying to help me but i was blinded by love in a way.. o—or obsession? We never reconnected after that. That’s all,” he ends.</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you?,” Beomgyu asks, his tone serious. Soobin looks at him in confusion. “It’s clear that you both did mistakes, and it’s in the past. What? It’s been around four years. Maybe you should talk to him again instead of torturing yourself with the past,” he adds.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin stares at the three of them. “I— i just can’t,” he whispers. Taehyun tilts his head.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?,” he asks earnestly. Soobin smiles weakly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid,” he says with a final tone. The unspoken question of What are you afraid of? lingers in the air as they return to studying.</p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>THURSDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn’t see any of his friends for a few days, buried deep in mountains of assignments. That is until today, when Taehyun comes to work with him in the library. He notices the glances the younger shoots at him but pays him no heed until a paper slips across the table towards him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Are you still in love with Choi Yeonjun?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He looks at him as if he’s crazy as he writes a reply.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I was never in love with him in the first place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Are you sure? If you’re not, a broken friendship shouldn’t have effected you this much.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin purses his lips and realises that Taehyun is right.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I’m sure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taehyun reads it with a frown.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyung, word of advice? A guy never forgets their first love that easily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin reads it and pushes it away, just as he pushes away the truth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p>FRIDAY</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin finds himself in the library again, scouring for books. He didn’t notice a familiar blue haired senior approaching him from the back.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobinie?,” he flinches and whirls around to see Yeonjun’s wide curious eyes on him. Soobin gulps.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Yeonjun hyung.. hi,” he says awkwardly. Yeonjun tilts his head with an amused smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re as awkward as i remember,” he says fondly and Soobin clears his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“U—uh how can i help you?,” he asks, keeping his tone low as they are in the library. Yeonjun’s face softens.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to talk to you, if that’s okay,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That’s how they found themselves at the nearest playground, despite the raging cold. The pair sit on the swings, mindlessly falls into a suffocating silence.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun breaks the silence. Soobin looks at him as if he’s gone crazy.</p><p> </p><p>“What for?,” he blurts. Yeonjun looks at him, face sad as he chews on his bottom lip.</p><p> </p><p>“For what happened that day. You weren’t the only one who fucked up that day, you know?,” Yeonjun says. Soobin shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I was the one who’s at fault! Don’t take the blame,” Soobin says and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun hyung, for everything. For the words i said that day,” he says, looking down in shame.</p><p> </p><p>“I forgive you. Do you forgive me?,” Yeonjun asks. Soobin looks at him with tears in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Why? Why do you keep forgiving me? I hurt you, hyung. I ruined our friendship,” Soobin questions. Yeonjun smiles as he reaches forward and wipes away his tears. Soobin unconsciously leans into the warmth.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought i was the cry baby between the both of us? Soobinie, i forgive you because it’s you, my other half. How can i live as whole when my other half is gone?,” Yeonjun says sweetly. Soobin stares at him and sobs.</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you,” he whispers. Yeonjun nods in understanding.</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you too. Now, do you forgive me?,”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin takes Yeonjun’s hand on his cheek and nuzzles into the older’s palm. “Always,” he murmurs onto his skin. He meets Yeonjun’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Always,” he repeats like a promise.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>🌟</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>MONTHS LATER</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As the winter melts and spring comes, their friendship slowly builds and blooms. The halves become a whole and their broken bridge slowly becomes fixed. The snow is gone. The cold is gone.</p><p> </p><p>They birth a new beginning for the pair of childhood best friends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soobin is back at the cafe he frequents to when the new semester begins. This time, there’s no assignment to do. Just him enjoying the new season with his caramel latte by the display window.</p><p> </p><p>Too deep in his thoughts, he fails to realise his other half’s presence until Yeonjun leans over his shoulders and presses his hands onto Soobin’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Miss me?,” the familiar voice sings and Soobin laughs as he swats away the older’s hands. Yeonjun obligates and plops down on the chair across of Soobin. Soobin rolls his eyes. Yeonjun takes his hand and presses a soft kiss onto his knuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“Geez, you’re such a mind reader,” he says teasingly. Yeonjun kisses his hand again. Soobin didn’t mind it. They haven’t addressed what ever is going on between them, despite the constant teasing and questions from their friends.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m charming, you know that,” Yeonjun bluffs. Soobin laughs and shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate to agree with that, but you are charming, hyung,” he says. Yeonjun suddenly takes his caramel latte and drinks it. “hey! I take that back, you’re the worst! Buy your own drink,” He pouts.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun laughs and Soobin softens. “You’re the best of me, Yeonjun hyung,” he whispers but it’s clear that Yeonjun catches it. The older smiles fondly and pulls Soobin’s hand towards his lips. This time, he kisses it long as he stares into Soobin’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>No words are shared, but he receives the sentiment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You are the best of me too.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I write AUs on Twitter! Come find me :) </p><p>@/MintCelestial</p></blockquote></div></div>
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